Everyone keeps saying, "Oh my God, oh my God, how intimidating." It's like saying, "How could you date Jennifer Aniston after she's been with Brad Pitt?" I don't care.

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

Don’t do your best, do my best.

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

Men. You can't live with them...and you can't legally shoot them. I tossed out my husband eight years ago and got a llama instead. Best decision I ever made.

Conviction is a good motive, but a bad judge.

The iPad! What is better designed than that? I read magazines on it, I play Scrabble. I use it for everything.

The old say, "I remember when." The young say, "What's the news?"

Music is a strange thing. I would almost say it is a miracle.

Braggarts and rogues, dogs and scoundrels, drive them out, Harry Potter, see them off!

We who formerly hated and murdered one another now live together and share the same table. We pray for our enemies and try to win those who hate us.

The story is everything, which means it's our job to tell better stories.

Women are very funny. Some of the funniest people I can think of are women.

It's not so much that I'm an atheist so much as the sneaking suspicion that I myself may be god