Everyone knows there's only one thing less welcome on a stage than a mime, and that's a clown, because everyone knows that clowns eat people.

If you really believe in what you're doing, work hard, take nothing personally, and if something blocks your route, find another. Never give up.

You're fighting a battle of good and evil with your dog pimp! Your only weapon is the shimmy! There is power in the shimmy! Make him fear your shimmy! Now, goddamnit, show me your war shimmy!

Small towns are sometimes like that; familiarity runs high, while regard for personal space is low, if nonexistent.

I have more faith in my bra than I have in my accountant.

My family were staunch believers in physical violence, not automatic violence, and we had a Safeway around the corner, so we never really needed to kill anything.

Bad boyfriends don't disguise themselves; their girlfriends do it for them.

Books are to me as homemade tattoos are to an inmate. Can't get enough of them.

I want a man as nice as my retarded dog, but one that doesn't crap on the floor.

I'm nicer on tax day than I am when I'm on deadline.

I've never really considered doing stand up, but I have done readings/spoken word things fairly often in which I'll just tell a bunch of stories and run off at the mouth. I'm a big tangent person.

When they were being blessed, there was no limit-now I am blessing others- I am giving too much!!

Happiness is not a condition but a mindset.

Technology is the fashion of the '90s. It affects everyone, and everyone is interested in it - either from fear of being left behind or because they have a real need to use technology.

The phenomenon of UFO doesn't say anything about the presence of intelligence in space. It just shows how rare it is here on the earth.

Many people think the Cards at the end of the wire will cross the finish line first.

I can't say I was much of a gamer growing up or that I am now, but I'm certainly part of that culture or it's part of, you know, the sort of time that I grew up in.

The extraordinary lies in the path of ordinary people.

Big ideas are little ideas that no-one killed too soon.

War, which perpetuates itself under the form of preparation for war, has once and for all given the State an important role in production.