Everyone’s default state is this pleasantry state. My goal in the show is to undercut that as quickly as possible. If you really do let it sit, it’s sometimes amazing what comes out of people.

If Edison was worried about his candle customers, he would have never invented the light bulb.

I agree that someone falling down is really funny, and I can go on YouTube and watch people falling. It makes me laugh.

No man can be immortal by dying! There is only one way to be immortal: Not to die!

During those formative times, I really didn't know what was going on, and I was sort of torn in a thousand different directions with how I felt about what I was doing.

I think my life has everything, you know; it has comedy, has drama, has action.

Fay had a spot of blood on the left side of her mouth and I took a wet cloth and wiped it off. Women were meant to suffer; no wonder they asked for constant declarations of love.

There's times when I'm cleaning the kitchen, and while I'm doing that, I'm singing and air guitaring with a broom to 'You Should Be Dancing.'

You can't do the will of God if you don't know the Word of God.

I love short trips to New York; to me it is the finest three-day town on earth.

I don't want to know anything about your system of ethics. Strength is the morality of the man who stands out from the rest, and it is mine.

My mom said the two most important kitchen utensils are attached to your arms... you cannot mix up meatballs with a wooden spoon, get in there, get your fingers dirty!

Oh, God! I have an ill-divining soul!