Everyone's got their own velocity, and there's no real time frame with comedy.

Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.

We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.

I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.

People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!

Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill.

I hope the Jews did kill Christ, I'd do it again in a second.

Drew Friedman isn't just a brilliant artist. He takes you to a place. He takes you back in time. He makes you smell the stale cigarettes and cold brisket and you say, thank you for the pleasure.

They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.

I like talking about things that are taboo, because it makes them not taboo anymore.

Wild!" Ron said, twiddling the replay knob on the side. "I can make that old bloke down there pick his nose again... and again... and again...

Weren't you the guy who said he'd settle for one woman when hell froze over?""I did say that, didn't I?""Yeah, a bunch of times, " Gavin's smile faded.

Shakespeare is all big themes, like the most amazing love, or the most scary war.

Cinema and emotion trump reality for me.

Just because you didn't put a name to something did not mean it wasn't there.

Masquerading the heart is the height of haunting souls.

There's this art form in songwriting that's incredibly difficult - to be really funny in a song and also really touching. I can't do that.

To hurt someone you know will forgive you is the unkindiest thing of all.

Writing a novel is not so much a project as a journey, a voyage, an adventure.

A big corporation is more or less blamed for being big; it is only big because it gives service. If it doesn’t give service, it gets small faster than it grew big.