Everyone's so timid and afraid to insult anybody, but in the end, it's like we're all trying to please everyone. In the end, we please no one.

Know what the best thing about insomnia is? That I get to stay up all night figuring it out.

I got to play with Nintendo's Wii, yes it's a funny name and not very revolutionary but it was fun whipping your arms around.

With the story of your life, you dont get to write the whole book, just your character.

Being a geek just means that you're passionate about something.

Growing up I had a lot of really negative energy in my life from people that were in my life, so I know to how to stand up for myself.

I think it's always funny when somebody thinks you're going to do something super sexy and then you don't.

I was in a military family, so by the time I was 13 I'd lived in six different places.

I want you to like me, but I don't care if you don't.

Be okay with who you are. And that you can't choose your parents or what life you were born into, but you can choose the kind of person you want to be.

I have a dark sense of humor.

The devil depends on a dark secret chance, but God does it now before your own eyes.

if one is unfamiliar with the infinite power of the subconscious mind, then one is absolutely far from living up to one's true potential in life.

It is time to reverse this prejudice against conscious effort and to see the powers we gain through practice and discipline as eminently inspiring and even miraculous.

If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there's a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.

During the first couple of years of 'Dancing with the Stars,' I would go to Jack in the Box in my ball gown after the shows and get the Taco Nachos with cheese as my reward.

Culture is a little like dropping an Alka- Seltzer into a glass- you don't see it, but somehow it does something

I believe in discipline, so I'm not the right person to cry about weakness and things like this, but maybe I'm not human.

You know what a woman's curiosity is.

Life is so endlessly delicious

I'm too frightened of confrontation, so I will always tip - even if the service has been really shoddy.