Everyone self-Googles. And, I have, of course, the Google alert.

Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.

We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.

I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.

People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!

Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill.

I hope the Jews did kill Christ, I'd do it again in a second.

Drew Friedman isn't just a brilliant artist. He takes you to a place. He takes you back in time. He makes you smell the stale cigarettes and cold brisket and you say, thank you for the pleasure.

They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.

I like talking about things that are taboo, because it makes them not taboo anymore.

It is true, as John Bunyan said, that God infinitely prefers a heart without words to words without a heart when we pray.

Without hair, A queen is still a queen’.

I think I am much too valuable a creature to offer myself to a German bullet gratis and for fun.

I don't have a problem with drugs, I have a problem with policemen.

It is poor faith that needs fair weather for standing firm. That alone is true faith that stands the foulest weather.

Shut up, I know what I'm doing!

I think all women want to feel sexy and confident yet comfortable at the same time in what they wear.

I wanted to make a small movie about a guy and a girl on the beach, but then I thought, wouldn't it be cool if a werewolf was there?

When you're a corporation, you're going to stick with what works. That's why every McDonald's is the same.

Our forests are not for toilet paper. They are worth more standing than cut. That deserves to be defended, not only by native peoples but also by environmentalists.