Everyone should occasionally break the law in some small and delightful way. It's good for the hygiene of the brain.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

God does not remove us from all harm

I have no flaws, I'm perfect at being imperfect.

It is my living sentiment, and by the blessing of God it shall be my dying sentiment, independence now and independence forever.

An Honest politician will not be tolerated by a democracy unless he is very stupid ... because only a very stupid man can honestly share the prejudices of more than half the nation.

A great designer does not seek acceptance. He challenges popularity, and by the force of his convictions renders popular in the end what the public hates at first sight.

I don't have acknowledged preferences of characters.

God cannot lead you on the basis of facts that you do not know.

Hip-Hop is my vehicle to scientific and universal enlightenment

Childhood is a branch of cartography.

To be a good parent, you need to take care of yourself so that you can have the physical and emotional energy to take care of your family.