Everything I tell you is true, but this is factual.

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.

My life needs editing.

People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.

I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago. Because when I die, I want to still remain active politically.

When Obama ran, he said, We can change the world! The world: can you change it back?!

There's a danger our fiscal bankruptcy might overtake our moral bankruptcy.

A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.

Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.

The fact is that you can't have a good relationship with a girl who hasn't settled things with her father.

One thing about being narrow-minded: you'll never be lonely.

When you're just writing, you can do anything with it. But with TV, you've gotta work within certain budget constraints, so you've got to pick and choose your battles.

Holiness is irresistible. If even 10% of the world's population had it the whole world would be converted and happy before the year's end.

My dad used to say makeup was a shallow girl's sport, but it's not. It's armor.

What's being pushed is to have Darwinism critiqued, to teach there's a controversy. Intelligent design itself does not have any content.

The Americans are extremely gadget minded people and American gadgets have a peculiar characteristic: they work.

The greatest of all weaknesses is the fear of appearing weak.

I feel responsible for certain fans, but I've never said I'm a role model.

Hip-hoppers are not interpreting what hip-hop is, and when we do interpret it, we interpret it as something immature, unorganized, and outlaw.

Hair is just one way of expressing ourselves. We express ourselves through how we dress or through tattoos or body art or piercings or cosmetic surgery.

Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it's the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.