Everything about life is a joke. Don't you know that?

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

He didn't look like a soldier at all. He looked like a filthy flamingo.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Perhaps I am the turtle, able to live simply anywhere, even underwater for short periods, with my home on my back.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Whatever my powers--feminine or the contrary--God had given them, and I felt resolute to be ashamed of no faculty of his bestowal.

All right, " she said. "Give me the books that are kind to me, and to hell with the men who don't give a damn about me.

To see a man beaten not by a better opponent but by himself is a tragedy.

I'm mellower now, I'm over 50. But I don't think I'm too mellow. I'm still angry at a lot of things.

Dance is definitely what I love doing much more than anything else.

Who you think you are is only a thought.

[Write to your congressional representative against the health care reform proposal or] we will awake to find that we have socialism.

How can a bishop marry? How can he flirt? The most he can say is "I will see you in the vestry after service."

Under our regional cooperation projects, we are building roads and bridges. The scope of regional cooperation [with China] is constantly growing.

Oh! where does faithful Gélert roam, The flow'r of all his race? So true, so brave; a lamb at home, A lion in the chase.