Everything is amazing and nobody is happy

When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.

The greatest thing about having a child is putting yourself second in your own life. It's a massive gift to be able to say you're not the most important person to yourself.

I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.

I have a lot of beliefs... and I live by none of them...

My kids used to love math. Now it makes them cry. Thanks standardized testing and common core!

When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone and he'll figure it out.

What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.

Well, when I was younger, I lied all the time, because once you understand the power of lying, it's really like magic because you transform reality for people.

I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren't trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom.

Here I was at the end of America - no more land - and now there was nowhere to go but back.

Arise in mighty strength to pursue your dream.

Sometimes we choose the road we follow.And sometimes the road chooses us.

Eviction is a cause, not just a condition, of poverty.

Institutions are lengthening shadows of strong individuals.

Freedom under law is hard work. If rulers cannot be trusted with arbitrary power, it is up to citizens to raise their voices at injustice.

Johnny can get down and Johnny can throw up, but Johnny can't read.

In the winter I was with Nelson Piquet. He was talking about his capacity to race faster. He said that he was still learning new things all the time.

You got to constantly be in character.