Everything you look at now, the scripts that come in that you look at, the television scripts are way better than the movie script. The talent is going to television.

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

Life Sucks,get a helmet

You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.

Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them?

Crisis doesn't create character; it reveals it.

Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.

What firefighters, and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do, basically these people say "I'm going to protect all these strangers."

You're afraid of your own anger.

It's all a waste of time. Everything begins only to end. The moment you were born you began to die. That's how it is with everything.

I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.

A great democratic revolution is taking place in our midst.

I'm not wild about holidays. They always seem a ludicrously expensive way of proving there's no place like home.

The evening of a well spent youth brings it's lamps with it.

The modern world, a world which has experienced marvelous achievements but which seems to have lost its sense of ultimate realities and of existence itself.

I have taught students from the New York City area so long I have a special affinity and rapport with them. It surprises me sometimes that there are students from anywhere else.

I often feel newspapers are just filling up space. Of course, I also know people who write really long books.

Fishing is a pleasure of retirement, yet the angler has the power to let the fish live or die.