Evil and laughter cannot co-exist.

Men were made for war. Without it they wandered greyly about, getting under the feet of the women, who were trying to organize the really important things of life.

Death is the last enemy: once we've got past that I think everything will be alright.

things are never so indescribably ghastly that they can't get worse.

Optimism is the last resort of those in deep despair. There can't be any optimists in heaven.

Those who live on vanity must, not unreasonably, expect to die of mortification.

when a person implores you to be reasonable what he means is that you should speed round forthwith to his point of view.

Claudia's the sort of girl who goes through life holding onto the sides.

Phrase books seem to be a universal and eternal source of hilarity and I think I know why. Their authors go mad in the course of compiling them.

Our only hope rests on the off-chance that God does exist.

There seems to be a peculiar and particular tie between men who have been drunk together.

If it wasn’t for all those silver wings spread out to help you on your journey, you would’a been dead or someplace screamin’ in a nut house a long time ago.

It is generally the trustful and optimistic people who can afford to retreat. The loveless and faithless ones are compelled by their pessimism to attack.

I am Jack's smirking revenge.

Got to be who you are in this world, no matter what.

I didn't get where I am today by being timid, young man.

Most men think they are good drivers. Most women think they are good in bed. They aren't.

People confuse being world No. 1 with winning a Major championship.

It's a new year, new year, new money, money!

I had this bad-boy-from-New York vibe going, dressed like a punk rocker with spiky hair.

I am now a decided non-naturalist realist. And today we may even speak of a trend towards non-naturalist moral realism.