Evolution writ large is the belief that a cloud of hydrogen will spontaneously invent extreme-ultraviolet lithography, perform Swan Lake, and write all the books in the British Museum.

I may think that hornets do not have an ideal social organization. But I know better than to poke their nest.

When someone tells me that 'the Almighty told me to do this', I want to see the transcript.

Wars are the hobbies of half-informed children who have somehow come into possession of the levers of power.

The proper response toward what we occasionally imagine to be democracy, methinks, is to retain one's self-respect by not participating in it.

Without men, civilization would last until the oil needed changing.

Kids esteem themselves when they have accomplished something worth esteeming.

Those who wash regularly should not stoop to democracy.

You can judge the quality of their faith from the way they behave. Discipline is an index to doctrine.

I like being married. I like taking care of people, having someone to make dinner for.

It will yet be the proud boast of women that they never contributed a line to the Bible.

I take my work very seriously, and that's the only way for it to be fun for me.

Forever be happy, never be content, and always know the difference.

Im from a family of doctors, and I think they really wanted me to be a doctor. I even sort of assumed I would be a doctor.

Don't integrate anything into your wardrobe that's going to make you feel hugely uncomfortable when you leave home. Get the comfort thing down first - baby steps.

I don't think anybody planned for me to be an actor. I didn't. I didn't know this was what I was going to do.

I'm crazy about Shakespeare, who was a notorious word inventor. And my wife is an English teacher, and she's hilarious.

I've never seen electricity, that's why I don't pay for it