Exaggeration is the cheapest form of humor.

When emotion supersedes reason ... gullibility must follow.

No woman really wants a man to carry her off; she only wants him to want to do it.

Dogs can be made to feel guilty about anything, including the sins of their owners. Cats refuse to take the blame for anything - including their own sins.

there is nothing like a garden to rest the soul.

The only way to do it is to do it: by writing, writing, writing.

I knew the answer, and--of course--so did Ramses. He has superb breath control and always gets in ahead of me.

Noble causes have a deplorable effect on the morals of the persons who espouse them.

A man asking for help ought to at least give directions.

Cats always made up to the people who hated them the most. Depending on how you chose to look at it, it was a touching manifestation of trust, or a malicious pleasure in human discomfort.

Martyrdom is often the result of excessive gullibility.

It bewildered Ig, the idea that a person could not be interested in music. It was like not being interested in happiness.

...to swear with a ferocity that can only be described as a talent.

Some people may decide to hate you for no reason simply because your confidence reminds them of their insecurities.

Maturity is reached the day we don't need to be lied to about anything.

Contempt mates well with pity.

The point of studying economics is so as not to be fooled by economists.

I do pity unlearned gentlemen on a rainy day.

Fashion is what seems beautiful now but looks ugly later; art can be ugly at first but it becomes beautiful later.

I'm the greatest in this world.

All you have to do is do a little bit of research and a floodgate of material comes your way.