Exercise is the most awful illusion. The secret is a lot of aspirin and marrons glaces.

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.

It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

There's always something fishy about the French.

Mona Lisa looks as if she has just been sick, or is about to be.

I love criticism just so long as it's unqualified praise.

Work is much more fun than fun.

A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.

For gin, in cruel sober truth, supplies the fuel for flaming youth.

Work hard, do the best you can, don't ever lose faith in yourself and take no notice of what other people say about you.

You will know you're old when you cease to be amazed.

I can't shove the dark out of my way.

The problem is not that we can't answer the great questions, but that we ask them in the first place.

The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you but he will make a fool of himself too.

What is love but acceptance of the other, whatever he is.

It feels like every day or two, people on Twitter and the Internet are outraged about something.

Even very low-probability events can, and indeed do, occur.

Nothing makes a house cozier than cats.

… and so he tried to accept the ache in his heart as what Dr. Larch would call the common symptoms of normal life.

Baseball presents a living heritage, a game poised between the powerful undertow of seasons past and the hope of next day, next week, next year.

I miss the good old days when Daimons were warriors and combat trained. The ones I found tonight knew nothing about fighting, and I’m sick of the whole ‘my gun will solve all’ mentality. (Wulf)