Expect the worst and that's what you'll get only it will be much worse.

When I die, I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin. I wonder would they know it was me?

On Being Old. It's not nice but take comfort that you won't stay that way for ever.

Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.

I'm starved for love. Not ordinary love but real love. The love that's like music or something.

Dear Mr Skully, I have caught my neck in a mangle and will be indisposed for eternity. Yours in death S.D.

I got disappointed in human nature as well and gave it up because I found it too much like my own.

The purpose of writing is to make your mother and father drop dead with shame.

Revenge is what I want. Nothing but pure unadulterated revenge. But my mother brought me up to be a lady.

Rid the mind of knowledge when looking for pleasure. Or start thinking and find a lot of pain.

I'm all for Christianity, but insolence must be put down.

If you're stuck in a puddle, it means there's higher ground all around you, you just have to step onto it.

Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it.

If you're utopian, you're never satisfied.

No man is a hero to his wife's psychiatrist.

There is really quite an inherent danger in the traditional British view that the council of ministers and inter-governmentalism is your protection against the federalist superstate.

War is the father and king of all.

Mortal birth is a boon to which only those spirits who kept their first estate are eligible.

I lost the love of heaven above I spurned the lust of earth below I felt the sweets of fancied love And hell itself my only foe.

Try to be surprised by something every day.

I hate to judge everybody across the board.