FIB, n. A lie that has not cut its teeth. An habitual liar's nearest approach to truth: the perigee of his eccentric orbit.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

What does it mean to live in truth? Putting it negatively is easy enough: it means not lying, not hiding, and not dissimulating.

if you like the lovable sound of an asthma attack in your ear every time you tell a joke.

There occurs the beautiful feeling that only humanity together is the true human being, and that the individual can be cheerful and happy only if he has the courage to feel himself in the Whole.

Immerse yourself in the customer's world and get to know their struggles and triumphs inside out.

Madness is the emergency exit. You can just step outside, and close the door on all those dreadful things that happened. Forever.

Success is not winning the World Cup. It may be a goal in your mind but success is having a team that is improving all the time.

The artist is not a man who describes, but a man who feels.

Even the way the kids react with media today is so completely different than what most movies have. We just wanted to make a movie that challenged them.

God bless Merle Haggard. He did all the things that Johnny Cash was supposed to have done.

The death penalty doesn't need your assent to continue ... it needs your indifference.