Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, you write on walls and you get poked by people you don't know

We all know the moon isn't made out of green cheese...but if it was made out of barbeque spare ribs would you eat it?

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.

I've always wanted to sail around the world in a handmade boat and I built a boat.

A fashion plate, a rock star in his own mind, Megamind is more showman than deadly menace.

Whenever someone calls me ugly I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

I have the physique a lot of people dream about having. It's my obligation to share it with the world.

Alcohol is like Photoshop for real life

I look good. I mean, really good. Hey everyone! Come and see how good I look!

I think my new iPhone 5S is broken. I pressed the home button and I'm still at work

Well, I could be wrong, but I believe diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era.

The biggest threat to authors in this age is not plagiarism or poverty, it's obscurity

Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed. Women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished.

Nothing in our times has become so unattractive as virtue.

Inner peace can be reached only when we practice forgiveness.

Nothing spoils idle pleasure like too much awareness

Bodybuilding is the closest we have to the fountain of youth.

I got introduced to the rave scene in 1992. At the time I was into skateboarding; I listened to a little hip-hop but was mainly into heavy metal and grunge.

God has set popes over kings and kingdoms.

That's the beauty of love. Sometimes you don't have to say nothing.

It's hard to have any moral authority over a group of drunken college students when you have never had a beer and never been laid.