Facebook stock continues to plummet. People started selling once they found out their mom bought it too.

God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.

Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.

Internet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That's the sky. If you're still confused, look it up on Wikipedia tomorrow.

It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.

I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin.

This is America. We must defend the principles symbolized by Lady Liberty - unless she's on the pill, in which case, she is a giant green tramp.

Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.

An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.

Contrary to what people may say, there's no upper limit to stupidity.

What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto!

We must unlearn the constellations to see the stars.

If we read the Gospel, we shall know the goodness of the Good News.

We couldn't be happier with our Storyboard team's effort.

The only limits we have are the limits we give ourselves.

Men love their ideas more than their lives. And the more preposterous the idea, the more eager they are to die for it. And to kill for it.

Splendid couple - slept with both of them.

When he come up in the club he be blazin up Got stacks on deck like he savin up

I found it an interesting portrait of a marriage in exploring notions of how one partner supports the other, whilst not jeopardizing the greater good - which is the family.

Give up all ideas about yourself and simply be.

Baseball is not like football, basketball where a momentum is something made. You don't really have that kind of momentum in baseball.