Facts are stubborn things but statistics are more pliable.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

Most women's magazines simply try to mold women into bigger and better consumers.

Vitally important for a young man or woman is, first, to realize the value of education and then to cultivate earnestly, aggressively, ceaselessly, the habit of self-education.

I don't prepare for my roles. I don't watch movies to get inspired. I don't dig deep. I'll never be that type of actor, and I doubt that I ever will be.

Inviting people to laugh with you while you are laughing at yourself is a good thing to do. You may be a fool but you're the fool in charge.

Is it too much to ask that women be spared the daily struggle for superhuman beauty in order to offer it to the caresses of a subhumanly ugly mate?

I must go down to the sea again, to the lonely sea and the sky; and all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by.

I'm a pretty harsh critic when it comes to my own stuff or things that come from my work.

Find me a reasonable lover against his weight in gold.

I would describe myself as a hard worker, very humble and focused on whatever it is that I put my mind to.

Women's Lib? I couldn't stand it.