Fair play is all well and good. But knowing how to kick 'em in the balls can get you out of a jam 9 times out of 10.

Maybe curiosity did kill your cat. But it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on the neighbor's rottweiler just the same.

Even choosing the perfect dinner wine loses its earth-shattering importance if your guests happen to be cannibals, and you, the unsuspecting entree.

A pigs and pain, until you really get to know 'em. Then he's a paid with the soul.

Analyzing dreams is much like walking on water. There are a limited number of people who do it well.

Booze and boys, ain't nothing in the universe that'll make a girl stupid faster.

Maybe knowledge is power, but it's damned hard to think a burglar to death.

Some men are warriors and some men are weenies. The trick is figuring out which is which.

Maybe life does suck, Pork Chop, but it beats the hell out of the alternative.

Just when you think you have life by the tail, it's likely to whip around and take a hunk outta your balls.

There is no greater hell than realizing you're in love with the guy you hate.

God made us to contaminate his creation with a Love Epidemic. Whom have you contaminated today?

What is required of a working hypothesis is a fine capacity for discrimination.

Friendships in childhood are usually a matter of chance, whereas in adolescence they are most often a matter of choice.

A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life.

If the lie is large enough, everyone will believe it.

Weeded and worn the ancient thatch Upon the lonely moated grange.

What's it like to kiss Mel Gibson?

The horizon has been defeated by the pirates of the new age.

Yeah, you know I don't ever see myself doing a super-gritty, hard-core drama.

I believe that one can aspire to as much as one wants to.