Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

The thousand stars that shine in the light of day

The past is never past and the present was seeming increasingly absent.--Here Tomorrow

At lunch you order steamed vegetables because you're remembering that you have a heart too. You feel humbled by your heart, it works so hard. You want to thank it. You give your heart a little pat

You may spend years being somebody to everybody, yet you can't find 60 seconds to be someone to someone else. Find the time today to be somebody's someone.

I do not regard a broker as a member of the human race.

Social history might be defined negatively as the history of a people with the politics left out

It is not surprising that prayer malfunctions when we try to make it a domestic intercom to call upstairs for more comforts in the den.

I don't hate anyone. The only people I know well enough to hate, I love.

It's an old axiom of mine: marry your enemies and behead your friends.