Family can replace everything. So, before starting a family, one should think what's more important: family or everything.

A real man is one who remembers the lady's birthday, but never knows how old she is. A man who never remembers her birthday, but knows exactly how old she is, - is her husband.

Women are, of course, more intelligent. Have you ever heard of a woman that would lose her head only because a man has pretty legs?

When you get married, you'll understand what happiness is. But then it will be too late.

Old age is the time when birthday candles cost more than the birthday cake itself, and half of your urine is wasted on medical testing.

Success is the only unforgivable sin against your neighbor.

Old age is when you are not bothered with bad dreams, but with bad reality.

God created women beautiful - so that men can love them - and stupid - so that they can love men.

A fairytale is when you marry a frog and it turns out to be a princess. Reality is vice versa.

It has always been incomprehensible for me: people are ashamed of the poverty but aren't ashamed of the wealth.

If a patient wants to live, doctors are impotent.

He was a victim of his own integrity, which forced him to do his best, even when he would have preferred to do nothing at all.

Thousands of pastors, Sunday school teachers, and Christian workers are powerless because they do not make the Word the source of their preaching or teaching.

History is biology's dumping ground

Most metaphysical words in Hopi are verbs, not nouns as in European languages.

Grandparents have the freedom to see their grandchildren uncritically.

The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make.

'Tis not the eating, nor 'tis not the drinking that is to be blamed, but the excess.

Listening. Nice idea but difficult to do with constant road and air traffic all around all the time. Please consider getting around by quieter means. Feet, bicycle, horse, it's up to you

France in August when you can travel through the entire country without encountering a single pesky Frenchman or being bothered with anything that's open for business.

I don't want to make a half-assed film. It's not my area of expertise.