Family planning experts are now recommending giving men vasectomy gift cards for the holidays. Talk about taking the jingle out of the bells.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

The negative way of thinking based on constant complaints, strains, and objections of discontent steals our energy

No one cared what she wanted. No one had ever cared. And perhaps, worst of all, no one ever would care.

When I first moved to New York, I moved all over because I never knew where I would be or if I was going to Europe, so I would sublet apartments. It was miserable because I was constantly moving.

On one hole, I hit an alligator so hard, he's now my golf bag.

No man-made structure in all of American history has been hated so much, by so many, for so long, with such good reason, as that Glen Canyon Dam at Page, Arizona, Shithead Capital of Coconino County.

I call our world Flatland, not because we call it so, but to make its nature clearer to you, my happy readers, who are privileged to live in Space.

You're stronger than you believe. Don't let your fear own you. Own yourself.

What we know and believe is just a program; it is nothing but words, opinions, and ideas we learn from others and from our own life experience.

Everything that exists is created first in the imagination, and secondly in reality, through activity.

As soon as you awake, in order Lay the actions to be done the coming day.