Fascism may be good at making the trains run on time, but you wouldn't like some of the destinations.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

God liberated us from darkness to walk in the glorious light.

The good that may come out of the loss does not erase its badness or excuse the wrong done. Nothing can do that.

I'm not going anywhere. I hope. It's been an adventure. We took some casualties over the years. Things got broken. Things got lost. But I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

If you devote your life to seeking revenge, first dig two graves.

For this world that men have made, none of us is bad enough. For the world that made us, none is good enough.

I'm insanely girly. I like having the door opened for me. I want to cook dinner for my boyfriend. And I can't wait to have babies.

As I always say, leopard print is a neutral.

Because as an only child, you have your own little world.

I'm not in favor of privatizing Social Security or making cuts.

The truth is, some relationships are supposed to last forever, and some are only supposed to last a few days. That’s the way life is.