Fat men get knocked over by buses no earlier, nor later, than thin men. And I, for one, have buried most of my thin friends.

To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.

To fall in love with yourself is the first secret of happiness. Then if you're not a good mixer you can always fall back on your own company.

The French are a logical people, which is one reason the English dislike them so intensely. The other is that they own France, a country which we have always judged to be much too good for them.

I don’t work. I merely inflict myself on the public.

The British tourist is always happy abroad as long as the natives are waiters.

The ball is man's most disastrous invention, not excluding the wheel.

A party: one arrives long after it's started, and one's going to leave long before it's over.

Every child should be placed on a doorstep to sell something. It's the best possible training for life.

When I asked my accountant if anything could get me out of the mess I am in now, he thought for a long time, and I didn't care much for his answer. 'Yes,' he said. 'Death would help.'

Most owners are at length able to teach themselves to obey their dog.

Have you ever heard a blindfolded octopus unwrap a cellophane-covered bathtub?

Perhaps as writers, we too should embrace the concept of wabi-sabi:

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity they seem more afraid of life than of death.

The more Chaotic I am, the more complete I am.

Art reaches its greatest peak when devoid of self-consciousness. Freedom discovers man the moment he loses concern over what impression he is making or about to make.

Shelf-life for a regular video game usually is about three to five years, and that's it.

I'm still Christian. I was not raised in a Christian church to hate people. I was taught to love people and accept people. I know what I believe.

I think no more than a week after I started writing I ran into the first block. It's hard to describe it in a way that will be understandable to anyone who is not a neurotic.

Differences in experience, points of view and opinions aren't what pulls us apart. It's what pulls us together.