Father, bless me for I have sinned, I did an original sin… I poked a badger with a spoon.

Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion - they're two words which are both ... different. In spelling.

If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan.

If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid.

Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).

I just believe in the goodwill of people, the power of people to do something positive.

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

They’re not women’s clothes. They’re my clothes. I bought them.

MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.

Never put a sock in a toaster.

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

Interviewer: 'So Frank, you have long hair. Does that make you a woman?'Frank Zappa: 'You have a wooden leg. Does that make you a table?

The lessons you learn when you are knocked down will sustain you when you are up!

So many books to read, will I ever finish reading?

If you were a freak as a kid, you're an interesting adult.

A traveler's chief aim should be to make men wiser and better, and to improve their minds by the bad-as well as good example of what they deliver concerning foreign places.

I can be whatever. I can wear shoes or don't wear shoes. I can tie my hair up or wear it down. It doesn't matter.

The most successful people are those who take pride in their work, pride in their family It is great to attain wealth, but money is really just one way - and hardly the best way - to keep score.

Hmm... well that would be good, but if you plan on adding that, better include the lanczos option (for good quality).

It's true that PC culture has created very little honest dialogue.

Sometimes the most exciting journey you can make is through your own imagination.