Father reading report card: One thing in your favor - with these grades you couldn't possibly be cheating.

All work and no plagiarism makes a dull speech.

The ultimate in wisdom is to live in the present, plan for the future and profit from the past.

Most of these love triangles are wrecktangles.

Only uncomfortable chairs become antiques - the comfortable ones are worn out by hard use.

A vacation should be just long enough that your boss misses you, and not long enough for him to discover how well he can get along without you.

The surest way to get a job done is to give it to a busy man. He'll have his secretary do it.

The bad things you can see with one eye closed. But keep both eyes wide open for the little things. Little things mark the great dividing line between success and failure.

Marriage is like a violin. After the beautiful music is over, the strings are still attached.

There's no fool like an old fool --- you can't beat experience.

By the time a man can afford to lose a golf ball, he can't hit that far.

I have found that it is much easier to make a success in life than to make a success of one's life.

We almost manage to forget that things happen that we don't anticipate.

The biggest rap on me is that I don't find a Watergate every couple of years. Well, Watergate was unique. It's not something Carl Bernstein, I, or the Washington Post caused.

In the case of Five-O, I believe it was a combination of many ingredients - timing, chemistry, Hawaii.

I do have a 22-inch waist, I will say that.

Nobody believes this, but I write very fast.

Humanity is fortunate, because no man is unhappy except by his own fault.

Cowardice in a race, as in an individual, is the unpardonable sin.

There are two kinds of friendship: one is genuine affection, the other is inability to refuse.

Sordid selfishness doth contract and narrow our benevolence, and cause us, like serpents, to infold ourselves within ourselves, and to turn out our stings to the entire world besides.