Fatherhood makes you cute. Women find bumbling fathers cute and attractive.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

Descartes recommended that we distrust the senses and rely on the ... use of our intellect.

Never shall I forget the little faces of the children, whose bodies turned into wreaths of smoke beneath a silent blue sky.

There is no easy fix or youth unemployment. Partnership between the public and private sectors can make a big difference.

To change the limitations of our personal pasts, our minds need a reason to change what we believe-and a good one at that.

Psychoanalysis: a rabbit that was swallowed by a boa constrictor just wanted to see what it was like in there.

In Rome people seem to love with more zest, murder with more imagination, submit to creative urges more often, and lose the sense of logic more easily than in any other place.

My children's books are written on the belief that every child has a talent and a passion. Each story unfolds into an adventure of nurturing that confidence until a passion blooms.

Take eloquence and wring its neck.

When you want to move somebody, you have to say to yourself: 'I'm in the emotional transportation business. I gotta move them, emotionally.

We are in truth but pieces on this chess board of life, which in the end we leave, only to drop one by one into the grave of nothingness.