Fear has no brains; it is an idiot. The dismal witness that it bears and the cowardly counsel that it whispers are unrelated.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Even a single lamp dispels the deepest darkness.

I'm going to take the kids away over Christmas but I don't, I've written 14 musicals now, I don't want to rush into doing something just for the sake of doing it. I want to do it when I find a story.

Love changes everything. Days are longer, words mean more. Love changes everything. Pain is deeper than before. Love can turn your world around, and that world will last forever.

I briefly considered doing Edgar Allan Poe and just swearing a lot.

[The wall will be] ten feet taller. And every time they [Mexicans] protest, it's going to go up a little bit higher.

There is no reason not to love. There is no reason not to be joyous. There is no reason not to celebrate because all of this means nothing, absolutely nothing. So why not be happy?

Equality has always been extant but some of us just didn't know it.

I am just going. Have me decently buried; and do not let my body be put into the Vault in less than three days after I am dead.... Tis well.

I'm smart cause I'm Korean, I'm not so smart cause I'm from the south. They cancel each other out, so I'm even.

Constancy of purpose is the first principle of success.