Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women. They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.

Always remember, money isn't everything - but also remember to make a lot of it before talking such fool nonsense.

One way to get high blood pressure is to go mountain climbing over molehills.

Snow and adolescence are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.

A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking.

You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.

A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.

Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.

Today, there are three kinds of people: the haves, the have-nots, and the have-not-paid-for-what-they-haves.

He who has so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts.

Many moments in religion seem attractive to me even though I can't believe in any of it.

At the outstart of discussions of women's intellectual attainments, it is well to remember how few are the men of the first rank.

When composing music, I just start spilling things out and then wait until they take form, you know what I mean, until I see like a common thread or something.

Thought can wing its way Swifter than lightning-flashes or the beam That hastens on the pinions of the morn.

The more I work in fashion, the less I dress up. The first pair of jeans I made was for my own body-my "strange body," as I call it.

It doesn't matter if you have a valentine or not - just love yourself and be your own.

All right," sighed Madrigal. "To the baths, then. To make ourselves shiningly clean." Like vegetable, she thought, before they go in the stew.

I want to leave the world a better place for horses and people.

Nothing succeeds like reports of success.