Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.

They say that if you're afraid of homosexuals, it means that deep down inside you're actually a homosexual yourself. That worries me because I'm afraid of dogs.

I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it's the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.

Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there's always beer.

When I hear a guy lost a battle to cancer, that really did bother me, that that's a term. It implies that he failed and that somebody else that defeated cancer is heroic and courageous.

I'm thankful for women. I think women are more intelligent than men. Also, without women, there would be no cookies.

You know, with Hitler, the more I learn about that guy, the more I don't care for him.

You ever see 'The Dating Game'? That's a weird game show. The prize on that show: another contestant. Talk about cheap.

The first principle of solid wisdom is discretion, without it all the erudition of life is merely bagatelle.

I always told everybody the perfect joke would be where the setup and punch line were identical.

Look forward, not behind. "Your best days are still out in front of you." Be focus & keep your dreams ALIVE

Everyone just wasting time because they have so much of it to waste, minutes slipping by on who's with who and did you hear.

A sound discretion is not so much indicated by never making a mistake as by never repeating it.

I like chili, but not enough to discuss it with someone from Texas.

The same spiritual fulfillment that people find in religion can be found in science by coming to know, if you will, the mind of God.

There is no form of conviction more intimate and irresistible than that which arises from the inward teaching of the Spirit.

They're a rotten crowd', I shouted across the lawn. 'You're worth the whole damn bunch put together.

Most writers are middle-class and are the children of doctors or lawyers.

Everything you do is challenging, hopefully, because if it's not, it's boring.

Whenever the cause of the people is entrusted to professors, it is lost.