Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

They are probably the single most important deciding factor for long-term success, and your ability to set and make plans to achieve them is the master skill to your successful future.

Vision is a future state of beings.

In love one cannot be mediocre, nor can one sustain love without work. The choices in the past were not enough, and it was necessary to choose again.

Asking for anything is allowed with the understanding that God's answers come from God's perspective. They are not always in harmony with our expectations for only He knows the whole story.

A man, as we see in this world, is chaos, but he doesn't recognize that fact so he tries to bring order into everything. Order is disorder. Order creates disorder.

I had long since given up trying to extract from a woman as it were the square root of her unknown quantity, the mystery of which a mere introduction was generally enough to dispel.

I nearly died of double bronchial pneumonia at the age of five.

What do Obama and God have in common? Neither has a birth certificate. How do they differ? God does not think he's Obama.

Our greatest dreams are never out of reach, only out of belief.

A man's task is to find himself, and if he fails in this, it doesn't much matter what else he finds.