Finding my dog's g spot is taking way longer than I would care to admit.

Now remember kids if anyone ever offers you drugs say 'Thank you' cause drugs are very expensive.

Stop saying you're not racist because you have a friend that's black. That's like saying you're not a pedophile because you have a friend that's a kid.

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO idea what they're saying.

I'll tell you what's better than watching the sunrise... Sleeping through it.

I dated a teacher in high school. Yeah, it didn't make me cooler. And a lot of you are like 'that's cause you were homeschooled'.

Girls say it's hard to find nice guys. It's actually really easy. It's just all nice guys are ugly.

The flat-brimmed cap is the modern day dunce cap.

They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'.

Being an ugly woman is like being a man. You're gonna have to work. Yep.

I do think we can be a little less PC when it comes to sports, though. Just once I want to hear an announcer go 'God, black people are fast. Holy cow! All of them. They're fast. Back to you Bob.'

For the beginning is assuredlythe end- since we know nothing, pureand simple, beyondour own complexities.

The sense of a soul and afterlife is an intuitive illusion.

The role of United Nations is not policing but awakening the heart center of the humanity.

I'm just thankful to be blessed with my talent.

Education is only a ladder to gather fruit from the tree of knowledge, not the fruit itself

Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow. ~Swedish Proverb Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is most important.

He had a theory, Walt did, that the religious life, and all the agony that goes with it, is just something God sics on people who have the gall to accuse Him of having created an ugly world.

many of us are done with adolescence before we are done with adolescent love.

Limited government must come politically, not judicially.

I think I have always had a pretty strong creative impulse. And that has probably saved me from abandoning myself completely.