Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

With a secret like that, at some point the secret itself becomes irrelevant. The fact that you kept it does not.

It seems to be most leaders have more conventional wisdom, but creative leaders have better common sense.

Your parents are your projection-nothing more.

The colors that show best by candlelight are white, carnation, and a kind of sea-water green.

I can't ever remember anyone winning a tournament like that.

I'm a combat diver, I've never done something like this.

Another turn in my life happened when I took on the Canada Council.

Everywhere you turn you see Americans sacrifice their long-term interests for a short-term reward.

Sometimes I'm afraid that my daughter might think that I get my hair done for a living.

I don't think I am a workaholic. I prefer to keep busy. It is better than the alternative.