First I was a mimic. Practically from the moment I began talking, I did impersonations of the people in my neighborhood - the storekeepers, the policemen, my teachers.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

I write to shed my sacred sorrows.

When you have got an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.

I had to hold my head up high and put a bold face on things, but the thoughts keep coming anyways.

The male or female that the child has the most exposure to in the first four to six years of its life is the primary imprinter of the child.

Fear is only a four letter word.

The Book of Mormon is so good it makes me f**king angry.

I can't tell my future, so I'm going to tell my past.

Everyone says you should get a photo taken of yourself while you're pregnant. I've got a film [War of the Worlds]. It'll be nice for my daughter, too, to look at one day. She was in it.

When in doubt, initiate. Say yes—to love, to life, to joining in with others. That is how we stay on the right path and, at the same time, elevate humanity.

no one dies happy, you can only die well