First of all, never buy a man a plasma TV until you're married. A lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don't need a girlfriend

A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves

If I had butterscotch pants and a cheetah sweater... I'd be just fine.

Don’t spend your time on and give your heart to any guy who makes you wonder about anything related to his feelings for you

We (men) would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us.

Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?

Let's call cheating what it is: a complete betrayal of trust.

Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.

It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that have to announce that I ate kale and liked it.

The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!

Alone also means available for someone outstanding.

Actually Grandad Christmas is a pagan holiday and Jesus probably hates you for celebrating it.

Brute force will sometimes get you through a challenge, but usually not without hurting and depleting yourself in the process.

Courage without conscience is a wild beast.

Playing well with others isn't all it's cracked up to be.

No gunfire, famine, or flies. Just lots of toothpaste, gardening and people stuff.

We're all united in this, that every human being migrates through time, that the place we grew up in in our childhood is gone when we're in our 50s and 60s and 70s.

It has turned out to be an annus horribilis.

I feel empty, not because of sadness, but because of relief, all the tension flowing out of me.

Long as there's a sun that sets, Primroses will have their glory; Long as there are violets, They will have a place in story: There's a flower that shall be mine, 'Tis the little Celandine.