First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast.

When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights.

If money’s the god people worship, I’d rather go worship the devil instead.

Never forget the nine most important words of any family-I love you.You are beautiful.Please forgive me.

Meditation is to be aware of what is going on: in your body, in your feelings, in your mind, and in the world.

Epitaph on a scolding wife by her husband: Here my poor Bridget's corpse doth lie, she is at rest - and so am I!

I am only a picture-taster, the way others are wine-or tea-tasters.

We need to build websites with celebrity speakers who talk about the ideals of fairness, sharing, democratic cooperation, and altruism in public life.

My uncle was a music producer and even he'd tell me to get a proper job. I tried to get him to give me five grand to make an album - it didn't happen.

I can't conceive of caring more about my president than my own partner.

Never give up, never slow down, never grow old and never ever die young.

Being a philanthropist doesn't mean necessarily writing a huge check. It can mean mobilizing your community to start asking questions.