First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women.

Son, if you really want something in life, you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers.

The scary thing about the future... there will be tiny cameras everywhere, and they'll be flying around like mosquitoes and drones. That will be bad. Drones are scary. You can't reason with a drone.

Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

God often gives nuts to toothless people.

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

America's health care system is second only to Japan, Canada, Sweden, Great Britain, well ... all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky starts we don't live in Paraguay!

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

You should listen to your heart, and not the voices in your head.

I’ll keep it short and sweet - Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

We've got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It's bizarre, and they're writing some very funny stuff.

Music and symbols, they're older than human race.Prehuman beings used them to teach early mankind.

Love me, then, or hate me, as you will, " I said at last, "you have my full and free forgiveness: ask now for God's, and be at peace.

Dharma is an ancient word for truth.

I don't know what the universe is all about, but to me, nothing is gained by slapping a God sticker on it. It has never been a comfort to me to believe there's an all-seeing eye in the sky.

The military preferred - invariably - those who could be readily defined, assigned roles, understood, and controlled.

Faith is taking God at His Word.

The man who has no inner life is a slave of his surroundings, as the barometer is the obedient servant of the air.

Let us live and move in harmony. Let us grow together. Let us cherish the wisdom that we have acquired together. Let us live in complete harmony without any misunderstanding.

I am a president who also gives pardons. Usually my considerations are humane.

Nobody stands taller than those willing to stand corrected.