Five exclamation marks: the sure sign of an insane mind.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

When an employee truly understands the meaning of his work and gets recognition for his efforts he performs the best.

A poet is a silent singer

Excess of liberty, whether it lies in state or individuals, seems only to pass into excess of slavery.

I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere.

Simple music is the hardest music to play and blues is simple music.

Never work with children, puppies or bulimics.

There is an evening twilight of the heart, When its wild passion-waves are lulled to rest.

Life is meant to be a challenge, because challenges are what make you grow.

At Baalbek Nuts I bought pistachios from the Lebanese owners, who answered my request for their thoughts on the war with the typically Lebanese response of no problem. It's a lie, as we all knew.

People are in your life for a reason, others are there for a season and it's important to realize when those seasons are over.