Football is just a game. What matters is what you play for.

But when I look back I can't call myself unlucky. My 23rd birthday was December 14. In these years I have had more than most people get in a lifetime.

The opportunity for brotherhood presents itself every time you meet a human being.

And I wasn't convinced that I was the most talented person in the world.

In general, children, like men, and men, like children, prefer entertainment to education.

Love is the only rule in self-discovery. If you've forgotten that rule, you've forgotten everything. It's not what you can get; it's what you can give.

I live to laugh, and I laugh to live.

Comedy wasn't something I chose - it chose me.

I've been a reporter for 20 years, and I don't ever get things wrong. That's important in terms of my professional status.

It's hilarious, because my guitar has what's known as a tremolo bar or a whammy bar. And the whammy bar is probably the most alien thing on my guitar that could possibly relate to a classical guitar.

Grossing Out dealt with the western nations selling arms to the Third World and exploiting these countries.

I am told that today rather more than 60 per cent of the men who go to the universities go on a Government grant. This is a new class that has entered upon the scene ... They are scum.