Football is the best way to get to know a people and a city.

If you expect a kick in the balls and you get a slap in the face, it's a victory.

I make a lot of jokes about vegetarians in my act but most of them don't have the strength to protest.

Marriage is when two people are joined together to become one desperately boring person.

Running is never fun. Running is something that you do when there's a man chasing you with a knife.

I was at school when Britney Spears' 'Baby One More Time' came out. I changed my uniform to look like hers. I just looked slutty after that, so thank you, Britney.

The most important things in your home are people.

I've been in love with the cinema since childhood and it's a fantasy of mine to appear in a Hollywood movie.

In particular, it is absurd to hope to banish envy of other people's possessions or fortunes, if only because the spirit of envy can lead to emulation and ambition and have positive consequences.

Minds, like parachutes, work only when open.

Did you know that the Stegosaurus lived further away from the Tyrannosaurus Rex than we are from the Tyrannosaurus Rex in time?

I don't want to be an actress, because I think that they have to be really pretty, and I'm not.

What is harder than stone? What more soft than water? Nevertheless hard though the rock be, it is hollowed by the wave.

Wherever you have a plot of land, however small, plant a garden. Staying close to the soil is good for the soul.

You simply cannot hang a millionaire in America.