For a single woman, preparing for company means wiping the lipstick off the milk carton.

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.

I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.

My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.

You know, if you need 100 rounds to kill a deer, maybe hunting isn't your sport.

It doesn't bother me that I'm not a household word on the East Coast. Baton Rouge, Raleigh, Minneapolis - I'm so popular in these cities where you've never imagined an East Coast comedian working.

Avner had lived too long and become too canny to claim the crown of Israel for himself.

YOU HAVE THE POWER TO KEEP THE LOVE ALIVE BUT TAKING IN CONSIDERATION WHAT IT IS IMPORTANT FOR YOUR MAN

It sounds trite, but only because words make everything true sound trite. Because words always screw up what you're trying to say.

How do I say 'kiss me' in French?" she whispered."Embrasse moi."Oh yes, even that sounded better in French.

Affordable wedding photography packages are available here, there are three packages and 35% midweek discount from Mon-Thu is available here whether it is half day, full day, or hourly basis package.

Seeing David Mackenzie's work in "Starred Up," I thought that was a wonderful film.

I continued to protect him with my silence.

I'm an actor. I try to play a character in a really cool story, the very best I can.

Peas went with carrots as infallibly as ham went with eggs. For years I thought carrots and peas grew on the same vine.

I walked to Seward School first through fourth grade. It's just amazing to me now that we'd walk down 10th Avenue on Capitol Hill.