For every "Drive Safely" sign, shouldn't there be a "Resume Normal Driving" sign?

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie.

You can spend too much time wondering which of identical twins is the more alike.

What greater blessing to give thanks for at a family gathering than the family and the gathering.

Ever wonder what crime you committed that you are confined to a small enclosure above your sinuses, under permanent skull arrest?

If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that "Members not Present" and "Subjects Discussed" were one and the same.

It finally happened. I got the GPS lady so confused, she said, "In one-quarter mile, make a legal stop and ask directions.

For the most part, we carnivores do not eat other carnivores. We prefer to eat our vegetarian friends.

On a windswept hill by a billowing sea, my destiny sits and waits for me.

It is not that love is blind. It is that love sees with a painter's eye, finding the essence that renders all else background.

All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.

The questions I'm asking myself are, 'What makes me happy? Where do I want to be? What will make me happy at 50, 60 and 70?'

We cannot change ideas in the minds of men and races with machine guns or battle ships.

One very clear impression I had of all the Beautiful People was their prudence. It may be that they paid for their own airline tickets, but they paid for little else.

Things can never touch the soul, but stand inert outside it, so that disquiet can arise only from fancies within.

The world doesn't owe you anything. It was here first.

Most people are other people.

Why are hemorrhoids called hemorrhoids and asteroids called asteroids? Wouldn't it make more sense if it was the other way around? But if that was true, then a proctologist would be an astronaut.

I'm going to be pissed if I walk all the way to the camp and end up getting shot.