For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

If everyone were a good person, it'd obviously be a better world.

Search for the perfect church if you will; when you find it, join it, and realize that on that day it becomes something less than perfect.

I play music - I write my own music, but I play music, just background music really, and just let it happen.

Well, I was obsessed with Judy Garland growing up. Like, obsessed.

The ending is one of my blackest, utterly without hope of any sort.

Civil rights are civil rights. There are no persons who are not entitled to their civil rights... We have to recognize that we have a long way to go, but we have to go that way together.

I am really a very shy person. If I appear, it is because of the music, not because I want to be seen.

No matter how tough Iraq became, removing Saddam Hussein was the right thing to do for the sake of peace and for the 25 million people we liberated.

Don't have Valentine this year, but all of you guys are mine

I enjoy helping people who are vulnerable.