For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 40 +, there is a balding, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

Being kind is more important than being right.

I just wish we knew a little less about his urethra and a little more about his arms sales to Iran.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I'd buy a painting.

Everyone starts out being an atheist. No one is born with belief in anything. Infants are atheists until they are indoctrinated.

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

Information leads to transformation. If you are not inspired by being informed, you will expire by becoming deformed!

The legacy I want to leave is a child-care system that says no kid is going to be left alone or left unsafe.

When you get billions in aid and your weapons resupplied and your ammunition stock resupplied, you don't learn the lesson that war is bad and nobody wins.

So I'm pampering myself to a homemade stone pumice session, to sand down my feet because I'm worth it.

Acting doesn't bring anything to a text. On the contrary, it detracts from it.

Comedians are not usually actors, but imitations of actors.

And swear No where Lives a woman true, and fair.

When he beat my mother it made me so mad.

I #‎ forgive not because I became a saint, but because I'm tired of hating.

One of the traditional methods of imposing statism or socialism on a people has been by way of medicine.