For example, the dwarfs found out how to turn lead into gold by doing it the hard way. The difference between that and the easy way is that the hard way works.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Imagine repeating the power words ‘love’ or ‘happiness’ for five minutes twice a day for the rest of your life, amazing things could happen.

My mother said to me "If you become a soldier you'll be a general if you become a monk you'll end up as the pope." Instead I became a painter and wound up as Picasso.

Health is not valued till sickness comes.

Basically, there is simply nothing to worry about, because you yourself are the eternal energy of the universe.

Voice acting is about the easiest thing to do. You roll out of bed, throw your clothes on that you had on the night before, you go into the studio, and nobody cares, just as long as you can speak.

I'm not worried about repeating myself - I'm more worried that I'd just get bored.

Find out where the people want to go, then hustle yourself around in front of them.

I think the hardest part about my job is the best part of my job - the travel.

For every reader who dies today, a viewer is born, and we seem to be witnessing . . . the final tipping balance.

Well, I'm still looking for Maurice Ashley. My essential qualities. I think that more than anything, I try to do the right thing, I think about doing the right thing.