For five days, I had no sleep. None. I did not sleep. And the last day, the reason I lasted, I drank 20 Red Bulls, about 20 cups of coffee. I could not function.

You can bluff the good players, but not the bad players. Against the bad players, you have to have a hand.

Just play every hand, you can't miss them all.

The one who bets the most wins. Cards just break ties.

Life is always speaking to us at every moment.

Lover of poetry, prose and procrastination.

I wouldn't say the world is my parish, but my readers are my parish. And especially the readers that write to me. They're my parish. And it's a responsibility that I enjoy.

When everything is worth money, then money is worth nothing.

I love the way you love, but I hate the way I'm supposed to love you back.

America should treasure its rare, true original voices and Mark Leyner is one of them. So treasure him already, you bastards!

One's faith is kept alive as one occasionally meets a realized ideal of better human relations.

This desire [to write] is rather strange all the same and is not without a certain "cracked" quality.

Patience is a fruit that only grows under trials.

Astrology is astronomy brought down to Earth and applied toward the affairs of men.