For him any wine dated before four o'clock in the afternoon is vintage.

She claims she just turned thirty but it must have been a U-turn!

He is at an age that whenever a pretty girl smiles at him he immediately looks down to see what is unzipped.

Let's toast a real wine expert - someone who knows a good rose goes best with bologna sandwiches.

Here's a toast to someone who's truly a best friend - a person who goes around telling good things behind your back.

She is such a health food nut she thinks a grape is wine in pill form.

The only way she could get a standing ovation would be if she sang "The Star-Spangled Banner."

You can easily tell he's a newlywed because he's still smiling at his mother-in-law.

He must really be a big success - even his mother-in-law admits it.

That most limited of all specialists, the "well-rounded man".

While active listening is crucial for optimal communication, we are faced with a dilemma which can perplex even the sincerest and engaged of individuals.

I know that philosophically a murderer is not responsible for his crime, but I prefer not to take tea with him.

Lyrics always fall short with the amount of energy thrown into the playing. Lyrics to some extent are just the product of a singer's insecurity with singing.

Never look a gift lion in the mouth.

If a woman is sufficiently ambitious, determined and gifted, there is practically nothing she can't do.

For every epsilon, there is a delta.

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going.

Of all the varieties of modern pollution, noise is the most insidious.

I know nothing about Christianity, nothing about football, and I'm not a Republican.