For me, improvisation is about working with a partner. That is much easier to do in the interview, because you have a sounding board.

God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.

Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.

Internet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That's the sky. If you're still confused, look it up on Wikipedia tomorrow.

It would be a very short pint. It would be gummy bears and matzah, and be called Chewy Jewy.

I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin.

This is America. We must defend the principles symbolized by Lady Liberty - unless she's on the pill, in which case, she is a giant green tramp.

Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.

An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.

Contrary to what people may say, there's no upper limit to stupidity.

What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto!

how you love yourself ishow you teach othersto love you

All translations are made up" opined Vikram, "Languages are different for a reason. You can't move ideas between them without losing something

God forgives those who invent what they need.

I had the opportunity to learn more about what life is like for a soldier [in The Yellow Birds].

Few people can be happy unless they hate some other person, nation, or creed.

I think I was only divorced once, and the rest were annulments. Or, maybe not. I can't keep track actually, because it's not that important. I just am who I am.

A relationship based on people-pleasing is unbalanced and an unnecessary sacrifice of integrity, that will eventually break down.

Strategy is important, but trust is the hidden variable. On paper you can have clarity around your objectives, but in a low-trust environment, your strategy won't be executed.

Repeating is harder than anything else.

Every thought you have has an energy that will either strengthen or weaken you.